I've discovered that much like an arctic seal, I have a layer of insulating fat covering my body. Most people do, that's one of the evolutionary benefits of adipose tissue, it stores the energy we need and helps our body retain its core temperature. The problem is that I often feel as though I'm cooking in my own skin like a baked in the bag turkey. I have become like a man wearing too many coats, despite the weather.
Recently I was in a technology training class where the women were shivering and the sound of teeth chattering could be heard above even the sounds of typing. They were putting on sweaters and wrapping their arms around their bodies, huddling for warmth. Meanwhile I was trying to wipe the sweat from my brow without drawing attention to the fact that I was starting to look like a damp hog glistening in the white glow of the computer monitors.
Recently I was in a technology training class where the women were shivering and the sound of teeth chattering could be heard above even the sounds of typing. They were putting on sweaters and wrapping their arms around their bodies, huddling for warmth. Meanwhile I was trying to wipe the sweat from my brow without drawing attention to the fact that I was starting to look like a damp hog glistening in the white glow of the computer monitors.
I started to feel my shirt sticking to my skin, and the cloth of my pants become irritating as the sweat from my body soaked into the fabric. I longed for a cube of ice to press to my wrists and cool the overheated blood flowing through the arteries just beneath the skin's surface. The air around me was beginning to feel thick and humid as my body pumped water vapor into the air in a pitiful attempt to cool my body through evaporative cooling. It may have been my imagination, but I would have sworn that I could feel sweat pooling in my seat soaking my crotch.
It was then that the training instructor called for a fifteen minute break. I walked as briskly as possible to the bathroom, ran the faucets over my hands and splashed cool water into my face. Sweet relief at last. Looking into the mirror I stared into the depths of my own eyes and thought of how long the day ahead would be if this was only the 10 a.m. break. I thought to myself that I really need to stop the twice daily indulgence of grease burgers and fried nuggets and do something for my health.
My own face stared back at me and nodded, yes, yes you disgusting beast, start taking better care of yourself. That night, after a long day of discomfort, I went home and weighed myself, 246 lbs. Nearly an 8th of a ton, the heaviest I have been in my life. I either need to lose weight or move closer to the poles.
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